dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
