How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
