Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
