i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
