No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
