I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
