He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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