Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
