And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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