why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize