"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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