its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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