Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
