it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
