You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We are two peas in an std pod
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
