I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i out mim tonsoeep
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