Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize