I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
