i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
