Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
