I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
