Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
