and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
