you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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