his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
