why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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