I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
