There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize