Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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