She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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