and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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