Apparently you make a good broom.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
