So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My breath smells like gin and sadness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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