Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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