And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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