Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
