awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
