i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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