You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
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