He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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