I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
