tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
