youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
