Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
