i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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