Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
