Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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