I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize