I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
