Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
bring money and cleavage
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
