She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
