Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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