They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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