I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
