I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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