He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
