We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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