I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Someone signed my nipple.
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