How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
