I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
