Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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