One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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