guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
