now i know why i became what i already was.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
