What a fucking waste of an outfit
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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