so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
